It's not that I'm ungrateful.
I just....not to go all Belle on Beauty and the Beast on you here, but I just wanted more.
I started thinking about how I had always envisioned my fantastic romantic perfect life, and life kind of kicked me. I don't have my dream job at the FBI. Not that I can't get it, but it's not my job right now. I'll be coming out of college with about 80k in debt, which will take a couple years to pay off, if I live cheaply. Considering apartments are about $1000 a month where I need to live, plus utilities, cell phone, insurance, gas, and my super special expensive diet...things already look pretty dull. That, and I plan on having children before I'm 30 and I still want a career. It's like I'm being torn into all these different directions and I can only have one. I wanted to travel the world! Do things I'd never done! Be crazy and bold and daring!
And here I am, about to settle into my desk job, spending the majority of my days shaking, almost blacking out, with stomach aches and pain and currently, quite a bit of depression.
How can you change the world when the world just makes you do what it wants?
How can I be crazy and irresponsible when I have to be sane and responsible?
In the middle of my breakdown, I decided that I would make a bucket list. I wanted to see my dreams and think about them, and maybe, just maybe, accomplish them one by one. Some are so small they are silly, and some are pretty big. Here are some I thought of in no particular order.
Witness a wedding proposal. Wouldn't it be fun and sweet?
I keep saying I'm going to get Lasik...
Write a book. Or several. I'd be content with just one though! About my life, just like Anne of Green Gables did.
I will have a spiral staircase.
Wouldn't this be a relief? To be able to make my own food. Maybe I wouldn't get so sick!
Attend a masquerade in a beautiful gown with a real mask from some place like Pier 1 or Italy, and dance perfectly all night long. Then lose my shoe at midnight.
Have a date under the stars! This looks like a comfy solution. I wonder if they have one for bugs.
Ride in a helicopter. Maybe even get my pilot's license...That's only like...15k
I do, I want to walk the red carpet. In some ridiculous looking dress.
I'd feel just like I was in Harry Potter
Low goals man, I haz them
Ohhh, to dance....
Run in a color run, and have lots of pictures taken
Haha, I want to. Sounds crazy!!
How can just a metal structure be so romantic and beautiful?
Why not? I've always been a huge fan of the movie "Pay it Forward" besides the whole horrible ending thing. I want to have a Pay it Forward project....and see magic happen.
Travel the world, one place at a time.
It looks horribly messy and colorful and I'd probably regret getting so nasty afterwards. But...I want to do it.
Because surprises make life worth it.
What a beautiful dream it must be to attend one of these lantern festivals.
Be published in a magazine
I've always wanted to, for some reason.
Learn spanish. So simple, yet so hard.
Be an extra in a movie. Seriously, how do you get this job? It can't be that difficult.
Normandy, France. So beautiful.
And have a picture taken of kissing. But since my boyfriend doesn't like kissing pictures, I'll probably have to hire someone to get this picture.
Visit a vineyard in California, and the California Redwoods, and all of those places.
Think of all the amazing pictures I could get at one of these places!
Just like all those analogies I make.
And see lots of movie stars and get pictures and autographs.
I swear, I'll never get someone in one of those booths with me.
Like your very own vacation house, ready to relax you at any time.
Oh, how I wish I'd never given up my diaries.
Have a secret passageway! and a ladder on my bookcases. My house will be remodeled so much!!
I've been saying I'll get them...
Blanket forts (and pillow places) will never cease to be amazing.
Visit a Lover's Bridge somewhere, attach a lock, and throw the key in the river. This one is in Paris. Just gorgeous.
Make this happen
Dance my heart out, and have perfect form while doing it.
I'm sure I'll have more as I think about it. I also have a list of places I want to visit (some were in the pictures above because they were specific):
The top of the list:
Next in line:
Not as far:
New York, New York again
While I am thinking about all of my dreams, my sister has actually accomplished and is working on one of hers. She has just published her first novel in paperback and Kindle edition (and for the next week is having a book giveaway at her webstite). You can check it out here:
Her site and book giveaway:
She has worked very hard on it and I can't help but want her to be famous for many many reasons. Among them are:
1) it's one of her dreams, and everyone deserves having their dreams come true (cue cheesy music, i know, but I mean it. I never realized how important thinking big was before I realized life keeps making me think small.)
2) If I can't write a book now, or start checking off my bucket list, or making my own dreams come true, I want to make hers work. I want to see her happy and successful with this.
So if you happened across this post, please go check it out, like her page, buy her book, enter her contest, or just check it out. You never know how much the little things you do can mean so much to a person.